Friday, June 27, 2008

Tools beat CAP with walk off win - 14-13

"They have interns and look a lot better in warm-ups. And they have about 30 people this time." - Heath Hall E-Mail 6:25

"Get here as soon as you can. We are in BIG trouble." - E-Mail - Mike Needham 6:27

These E-Mails evidence the fact that CAP showed up with a short stop who was invited to spring training for the Boston Red Sox and they were killing the ball in BP.

The second match up between The Hertage Tools and The Center for American Progress was one for the ages.

Izzy Ortega capped off a perfect night at the plate with a 2-out walk-off single as YOUR Tools defeated the Center for American Progress 14-13. Long-time observers of Heritage softball place last night’s win among the most thrilling in years.

It did not look good for YOUR Tools as the game started. The Left Fielders had brought 40 players – 25 of whom were summer interns – and quickly jumped out to a 5-0 lead. As YOUR Tools came to the plate in the first, the CAP third baseman lept high into the air to snare a scorched line drive off leadoff hitter Mike Needham’s bat sending even more chills down the spines of YOUR Tools who thought, for the first time in years, that a team might be on the field that could challenge their dynasty.

But Jim Lawruk, Ortega, Heath Hall, Derek Hunter, and Alex Adrianson all singled in the first to plate three and bring the Tools back within 2.

YOUR Tools got the game to within one in the 3rd inning as their women caught on fire with Heath Hogue and Margaret Daly each doubling while Stacie Smith hit a sac fly.

By this point, the CAP cheering section was trying to intimidate Your TOOLS by doing what liberals do best: chanting meaningless slogans. Their interns belted out renditions of Center for American Progress favorites, such as “we don’t want your Git-mo, we just want to hit-mo.”

YOUR Tools’ cheering section – Adam Salmon – responded by lighting a cigarette.

But YOUR Tools bats had an answer in the next inning -- knotting the game at 11 in a 4th inning highlighted by an Ortega home run and Adrianson RBI double.

Both teams’ defenses buckled down for the 5th and 6th innings with only 3 combined runs scoring in those frames. YOUR Tools’ defense was paced by Hunter, who snared a number of comebackers at pitcher; Hogue, who flew around the outfield tracking down flyballs; Adrianson, who made a few solid plays on liners at third; and Needham, who set a world record for high jump by a Jew to haul in a line drive.

And so, YOUR Tools entered the final frame down 13-12 with the bottom of the order at the plate. But YOUR Tools refused to surrender knowing they must carry on the struggle until, in G-d’s good time, with all their power and might, they would step forth to rescue their dynasty.

Daly led off the bottom of the 7th with a double and was quickly plated by Brian Darling who broke a hitless day at the plate with a single. Sarah Smith then moved BD to second with a single, turning over the lineup to the top. With nobody out, Needham launched a moonshot down the left field line – flirting with joining Carlton Fisk and Robin Ventura in the annals of historic walkoff shots. Alas, the ball hooked foul and your humble correspondent popped the next ball up weekly to the shortstop. Salt. Jim Lawruk then ground into a fielder’s choice to set the stage for Ortega’s dramatic game winner as Brian Darling hustled from third to score.

Ortega was a perfect 5-5 on the day. Derek Hunter and Alex Adrianson both went 3-for-4. YOUR Tools are now 6-1 on the season.

The Three Stars of the game were:

3. Margaret Daly with a double to lead off the bottom of the 7th to put the game tying run at second base. Daly crushed 2 doubles on the day.

2. Jim Lawruk who came out of retirement to make an excellent, and painful looking, diving catch to save runs in the 5th inning. Lawruk dusted off the cleats to go 3-5 with 4 runs scored.

1. IZZY ORTEGA - Game winning walk off single and a towering HR to right field in the 4th inning. Izzy was perfect at the plate and even smiled moments before hitting the game winning ball into right field. Coach BD attempted to carry Izzy of the field, but gave up when he realized that Paychecks and Donuts have added a few pounds to Izzy since opening day.

Honorable mention to Alex Adrianson for his 2 doubles -- 4 RBIs and everybody that showed up. Needham, Hall, Hunter, Hogue, Wiley, Nick, and the Smiths kicked ass. GREAT WIN!!!

Friday, June 20, 2008

Tools Win and Right the Ship - 5-1

Tools win in a low scoring affair at the famed Rose Park ball field. The game was tight for the whole 7 innings with a final score of Tools 7 - State WHA 5. The Tools lead after 1 after Heath Hall blasted a Home Run to the opposite field children's playground and Izzy delivered a clutch single to score BD. Tools stumbled and were down 5-4 going into the bottom of the 5th inning when Hall again stepped to the plate. Hall went yard again and put the Tools up for good.
The Three Stars of the Game:
3. Mike Needham for missing the game and allowing the SS position to make 10 put outs with a mere 1 error.
2. Alex Adrianson who made a game saving play at first when he knocked a ball down and sprinted to first with two outs and saved the Tools from giving up 2 runs.
1. Heath Hall - 2 Home Runs and an excellent game in the field. A player on the other team remarked after his 2nd Home Run -- "What major league team did you get that guy from?"
Next game on Thursday against the Center for American Progresss (CAP) at Rose Park. WE NEED ANOTHER WIN!!!

Friday, June 13, 2008

Tools Lose - Show They are Human - 4-1

The Tools lost a nailbiter this past week by a score of 23-17 to the New Americas Foundation (NAF) and moved to 4-1 in the Tools quest to defend the 2007 Think Tank League title. Although hitting .571 as a team and driving in 17 runs, 17 runs proved 6 runs short and NAF put up 16 runs in the last 3 innings to secure a win at the flawed 23rd and Constitution, Field Number 12. No excuses for this one, but it does put this season in perspective and show that the Tools need to play excellent ball for the remainder of the season to make the playoffs. Tools are still tied for first place in the Whig Division with NAF and the Center for American Progress.
The three stars of the game were:
3. Derek Hunter with a perfect 4-4 day;
2. Margaret Daly with a 3-4 day and an excelent glove; and,
1. The ever consistent Heath Hall, playing to an audience including his parents, with a 4-4 day including a towering Home Run.
Next game is next Thursday against State WHA at the Tools home field. History will note that this same team stumbled last year and ended the first half with a loss, we can only hope that the Tools come back with a fire in the belly next Thursday!

Monday, June 9, 2008

Tools Win Again and Move to 4-0

The Heritage Tools did not play well yesterday, yet still managed a victory by a 19-14 final. The Heritage opened their home stadium at Rose Park Field in Georgetown. Short porch to center field and lot’s of trees. The Three Stars of the Game were the following:

Derek Hunter – He hit 3 doubles and made a play in the critical top of the 6th inning after making an error to end the inning. Great bat and a decent glove gets Derek Hunter the Third Star.
Margaret Daly – A game saving catch in Right Center Field late in the game to keep the Tools from falling apart. Margaret went 3-4 with a double and 2 RBIs in the game.
Izzy Ortega – Consensus number one star with a perfect 4-4 at the plate (and a funny complete miss on a strike) with 2 doubles and 3 RBIs.
The game started with the Tools charging to a 11-0 lead. The wheels then came off as Darling served up some meat balls and gave up a grand slam HR. In the top of the 6th the game tightened to a 14-11 game as Derek Hunter served up his own batting practice pitch and have up the second Lawyers grand slam of the game. Tools put up a five spot in the bottom of the 6th to insure the first win at Rose Park. Honorable mention to the bats of BD (2-2 with a triple and a 3 Run HR) and Heath Hall (2-2 with another towering HR blast). Mike Needham played an excellent SS with a 2-4 day and Sean Ryan filled in after his long stint on the DL at First Base. Brian Phillips was ripping the ball foul and bragging about how he will work in the Senate next year. Alex Adrianson had a rough go of it, but, as always, had a great attitude. The Ashley Turner/Heather Hogue platoon produced mightily with a combined 4-4, 3RBIs and excellent play in the field. Dan Ziegler and Patrick Tyrrell platooned in Right Field and had a couple of hits combined. The Stacie/Sarah Smith platoon at catcher produced a hit with both registering RBI’s in the game.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Box Score: Heritage Tools (Senate) vs. DHS

Below is the box score for the Senate Softball League game between the Heritage Tools and Department of Homeland Security.

Heritage Tools Clobber Homeland Security, 40-19

Margaret Daly sprinted the last five blocks to the field, Derek Hunter took a cab from New Orleans to Baton Rouge to catch a plane to Reagan connecting with a 20-minute layover in Houston, and BD came off the DL to help prevent a forfeit. But with BMac, BPhil and Diane Uh pouring in as reinforcements, the Heritage Senate League Tools obliterated the Department of Homeland Security by a score of 41-19.

The Tools went to a four-female lineup after taking a 20-3 lead in the second inning, but our ferocious females did not let up, each reaching base well over 50% of the time.

  • Bluey paced the offense with an 4-for-5 night at the plate and nearly flawless (what happened on that liner in the 5th, pal?) defense in left-center and at short.
  • Wiley Westall, pimping for the ladies like Needham at the 2005 intern game, homered (yes, HOMERED!) and held down the hot-corner like a star.
  • Brian Bickerton doubled in his second time at bat and withstood two collisions with the overeager TSA employee playing short for DHS.
  • Heath Hall, BPhil and Needham all homered -- more than a few times.
  • Hunter and BMac also hit the ball a long way and raced their way to second in their patented fashions.

After the game, the Tools met up with the Supply Sliders for revelry at Armand's where BPhil learned something he should have learned in 6th grade.

NPR's Blog Notes Heritage-CAP Softball Rivalry

NPR's Bryant Park Project has a laugh at Think Tank Softball:

Little League season is upon us, and an article by Scott Ganz of the American Enterprise Institute caught my eye recently. Its argument about the positive impact of youth participation sports was interesting, but the description of the co-author was what got me thinking. The author, as it happens, also coaches the Institute's softball team.

Wait, AEI's softball team? Does Richard Perle call his homers like Babe Ruth? Does neocon godfather Irving Kristol give a rousing pre-game speech? (I need hitters, not quitters!!!) I'm not sure, but a bit of lunchtime searching revealed that think tanks from left to right aren't just engaged in the battle of ideas. They've also got their own softball league.

Just imagine the trash talk when the liberal Center for American Progress takes on the righties at the Heritage Foundation. I'm sure it's all erudite and perhaps even peer-reviewed, though. Things really got interesting when I found their flickr photostream. . .

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Darling, Needham Power Tools to Division Lead

The Heritage Tools took over sole possession of the Whigs Division in Think Tank Softball last night. The team has dominated its opponents during the first three games of the season thanks to the play of several people. Brian Darling leads the team with 14 RBI and shares the home run lead with Heath Hall at three. Mike Needham has 11 runs and Derek Hunter has three triples.

Box Score: Heritage Tools vs. Commerce

Below is the box score for last night's Heritage Tools game against the Commerce Department. The Tools won, 26-14, and improved to 3-0 on the season.

Tools Top Commerce in Battle of Undefeateds

Sarah Smith saved the day with a sprint to the field moments before Heritage's Capitalist Tools were about to suffer a forfeit. Think Tank Softball rules mandate at least two women start a game. Smith battled for a parking spot and made a run for the field -- arriving as the other team called on Heritage to forfeit. Smith (who finished 4-for-5) promptly stepped into the batter's box and hit a single.

The Tools and Department of Commerce entered the game tied for the division lead at 2-0. Despite having the minimum nine players (compared to 11 for Commerce), the Tools improved to 3-0 on the season with a 26-14 victory over Commerce.

League rules state that if you play short one girl, then you take an automatic out and can only field nine players. The Tools' auto-out made the second out of the first inning as the team exploded for six first-inning runs. The game tightened after the bottom of the second (7-6) before the Tools scored 13 runs in the top of the third. The auto-out position made two of the three outs in the third inning.

Stars of the game were:
  1. Mike Needham with a Grand Slam, and a 4-for-5 day.
  2. BPhil with a monster 5-for-5 outing with two home runs.
  3. Heath Hall with two home runs, a triple and a double.
BD, Adrianson and Sarah Smith all went 4-for-5. Wiley Westall and Izzy Ortega went 3-for-5 and Margaret was robbed on a few solid hits. Overall, the Tools were 33-for-45 at the plate!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Box Score: Heritage Tools vs. Roosevelt

Heritage's Capitalist Tools topped the Roosevelt Institution on Tuesday to improve to 2-0 in Think Tank Softball. The box score for the Tools is below.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

CAP Acknowledges Heritage's Softball Dominence

During a panel discussion on hate crimes today at Heritage, Mark Agrast of the Center for American Progress noted his think tank's defeat at the hands of Capitalist Tools earlier in the week.

Box Score: Heritage Tools vs. CAP Left Fielders

The defending league champion Capitalist Tools won the first game of a long season of games in the Think Tank Softball League against the Center for American Progress (CAP) on Tuesday. A recap and box score are below.

The Tools entered the top of the seventh inning clinging to a 16-14 lead and exploded for nine runs. The platoon of Mike Needham and Chuck Roman pitched in for 7-for-8 at the plate and quite a few interesting plays at shortstop. Brian McNicoll showed that he still has a hot bat with a 2-for-2 performance. Heath “HR” Hall pitched in for an excellent outing and Alec Aramanda had a diving (maybe falling down) catch in the outfield. Derek Hunter nearly hit for the cycle with a single, double and triple. Izzy Ortega had a good game at the plate and Wiley Westall pitched in with a clutch hit in the top of the seventh to spur on a rally. Mike Spiller and Alex Adrianson combined for a perfect 4-for-4 out of the No. 9 slot, and Nick Reid “batted” 11th in the lineup. The women were excellent with Stacie Smith making better throws to the pitcher, Heather Hogue hitting well in her last two at bats and Ashley Turner going 3-for-4.

Sorry to the players that showed and didn’t get in the game. This was a “must win” for us and we will be more liberal with playing time against teams that are not at the talent level of CAP.

This was the toughest game we will play in the first half of the season, so relax and know that we have beaten the big bad CAP.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Capitalist Tools Top CAP's Left Fielders, 25-15

Heritage's Capitalist Tools picked up where they left off last season. Think Tank Softball's defending champions defeated the Center for American Progress by a score of 25-15 tonight on the National Mall overlooking the U.S. Capitol. The victory over the arch-rival liberal think tank was sealed with a clutch hit by Wiley Westall in the top of the seventh.

Play Ball! Think Tank Softball Begins Today

Today marks the start of the 2008 Think Tank Softball League as The Heritage Foundation kicks off the season on a beautiful spring day in Washington, D.C. Last year's league champion, the Capitalist Tools, take on arch-rival Center for American Progress tonight. Heritage's Sliders face the German Marshall Fund of the United States this week.